Discovered Feelings For Moriarty?
by SaiyukiMarie39
Summary: Sherlock just discovered that he has some new feelings for Moriarty. This is his blog describing how he figured it out.


Discovered Feelings... For Moriarty?

A Blog by Sherlock Holmes

Those of you reading this may find it hard to believe, but I have

solved a mystery which was unbeknownst to me before I found the answer.

I must have subconsciously gathered the clues together in my brain, for

before I knew it I had realized... I am undoubtedly attracted to Jim

Moriarty. Yes, I know what you're thinking. Two questions are popping

into your tiny little brains right now. 1: I thought you weren't

attracted to people. Technically, that isn't a question, more of an

assumption, but it's true. I'm really not attracted to people. 2: Why

would you be attracted to a man who is your worst enemy? (Next to

Mycroft, that is.) Well, that will be explained shortly. By the time I

am finished this blog even your inferior brains will be able to firmly

grasp the concept of my undeniable attraction to this evil mastermind

and you will believe it 100 per cent.

I shall give the clues that my brain recently acquired. Let us

start with before I had ever even heard of the man. During my first

real case with John, the "Study in Pink", as he called it in his

terribly sentimental blog, he informed me that Sally Donovan told him

that I like what I do; that I "get off" on it. And it is quite true.

Nothing gives me as much pleasure, or, I'll admit, sexually stimulates

me as much as an intricate crime, especially murder. The most difficult

crimes with deep-thinking problems are the ones that arouse me the

most. There is no greater high for me than that brought by a good crime.

The second main clue, more of a fact than a clue really, was found

when I first saw Moriarty in person by the pool. Remember when he asked

whether it was a gun in my pocket or I was just happy to see him? My

reply was "both". I didn't lie. I had an erection. If you play back the

clip, you'll still see a bulge in my pants after I take the gun out and

point it at the man. No, don't look now. Get off of youtube, you idiot.

Good, now listen to me. I was in fact turned on by his ability to

create the perfect puzzles for my brain. His genius intrigues my genius

and his mysteries bring me the greatest sexual pleasure I've ever felt

in my life. ...Even I can't believe I really just said that. It's not

that I'm attracted to his personality or his being, I'm just attracted

by the exciting puzzles that he gives to my ever-so-bored brain.

The last clue I found is when Jim Moriarty spoke of the look of

surprise I would see on his face if I shot him, which would in truth be

quite surprising. The very obvious reason I would never shoot this man

is simply because... I could not live without him. What? You don't get

it? Do I really have to explain this too you? You're so stupid, you

can't figure this out by using your puny intellects? No, it's not

because I love him, you stupid imbeciles. I can't live without him

because his immensely interesting crimes are the one thing I live for.

If the man who created the mysteries I live to solve was dead, I would

be so dreadfully bored I would no doubt kill myself of boredom, unless

another man with an equal criminal intellect were to appear, which is

impossible. I doubt there could ever be a man that is as good a

criminal as Jim Moriarty, just as there isn't a man who is as good a

crime-solver as me. What? You say I'm bragging? Oh, shut up! You know

it's true. Let me continue. It is a fact that I need him in order to

live. I need his crimes, his murders, his mysteries and puzzles. I am

so terribly attached to them that if he was no more, I wouldn't be able

to live with myself.

I do hope you see now. You can't possibly be that freaking dense, can

you? Surely you understand that by being the creator of the one thing

that absolutely enthralls me and makes me feel alive, he is the one

human being that I can be so undeniably attracted too. I am not in love

with him, that I am certain of. For I do not and can not love without a

heart. Oh, please. Don't try to convince me now that I do have a heart.

Even I know I don't. Even if I did, I do not care one bit about the man

himself. All I care about are the wonderfully abstruse mysteries that

he creates for me in that extraordinary brain of his. The only brain in

the world that can make me so terribly... Hard.

As for "love", I suppose a good friendship is the closest thing to

it a man like myself can have. Ah, here is John now. I must log out

before he reads this.

SH 9/2/11


End file.
